If you have the following qualities, you are welcome to join the *** family:

1. Enjoy excitement and surprises

In keeping with the family’s flexible management policies and high turnover, your duties may be adjusted at any time: either other responsibilities will be folded into your workload and you’ll be told they were part of your job all along, or you’ll be transferred to another department without warning—making every aspect of life full of surprises and excitement.

2. Hardworking and resilient

Since there are not many boundaries between roles here, you’ll get to experience the ultimate challenge of wearing many hats: PM and consultant, PR and customer service... If you’re skilled enough, you might even be able to keep working in your dreams.

Why quibble among family? Simply join the family and enjoy the following arrangements ❤︎:

1. The family will thoughtfully plan everything for you. To save everyone’s valuable communication time, out-of-the-blue decisions are always efficiently delivered directly to you, without going through a supervisor or any intermediary. After all, we’re family now—why quibble over so much?

2. Of course there are promotions. If you are fortunate enough to become an acting supervisor, you may remain in the following state until the day you leave: official responsibilities, acting-level compensation, along with the promise that “if you work harder and achieve whatever,” you can be made permanent.

3. In preparation for listing on the stock exchange, the family cares about how its members use their own money, so it once thoughtfully invited a bank to the company to explain loan-related matters, helping family members become shareholders of the family and making the family bond even stronger.

The family’s areas of expertise:

1. General rule for solving problems: change the department name to fix everything; reshuffle the organization to cure every ailment (don’t worry, this show is performed often).

2. Skilled at adhering to a freewheeling culture, with basically no SOP constraints internally or externally. Quality is like opening a blind box; with a bit of luck, you might even get the grand prize of having personal data exposed internally.

3. Occasionally tries out practices in gray areas. If you don’t remind yourself to be careful, you may cross the line without realizing it.

4. Uses rhetoric to dress things up as a wonderful future, ensuring your compliance so that goals can be achieved.

5. This supposedly generous family often gives only half the generosity: benefits come with conditions, and bonuses depend on luck.

In short, it all comes down to one word: “chaos.”

Finally, I sincerely wish the company great success, that AI smoothly replaces its workforce, and that it soon becomes a company with no employees. After all, only nonhumans should be able to fully accept an institutional environment like this.

How could there possibly be anything wrong with the company? The problem is always the employees.