Workplace reviews and discussion: 統一超商股份有限公司

The happiest thing is that, fortunately, I left.

Let me debunk Uni-President Supermarket’s sales talk point by point:

Average annual salary starts at NT$600,000 (NT$31,000 for university graduates and NT$36,000 for graduate-degree holders; you can only barely reach that figure after adding the year-end bonus).

Key management position at Uni-President Supermarket (hardly management; at most, you’re like a salesperson who needs to persuade franchisees to order large quantities of unethical food),

A cradle for senior executives (at most, you can be promoted to Area Consultant; basically, you won’t advance any further),

A communication bridge between the company and stores (a mouthpiece), combining the roles of detective (snitch), doctor (with only one prescription: boldly place orders), partner, and customer; the tasks are diverse and extremely challenging (a bunch of miscellaneous work that anyone with a high-school education can do).

Uni-President Supermarket is determined to become the most outstanding happy company, making happiness close at hand for everyone (the so-called happiness is feeding you unethical food and stuffing you with a merchandise gift card on your birthday so you can buy unethical food).

In the Uni-President Supermarket work environment, work is not merely a way of life, but also a stage for learning and creating value (basically, there is no life to speak of; countless Area Consultants have developed protruding discs, and many women have suffered miscarriages from doing this job).

Wednesday Family Day, the Happiness Cooperative, Happiness Lectures, 7-ELEVEN University—bringing happiness to your heart (it’s a lie; I worked as an Area Consultant and had never heard of them).

The Fortune Savings Trust system, flexible benefits, internal franchise discounts, and the occasional crazy employee group-buying deals are even more exclusive perks and benefits for 7-ELEVEN partners (you have to apply proactively; the company will not help you automatically).

By joining Uni-President Supermarket, you gain access to the development map of its many affiliated companies (spanning six major business sectors—distribution, food and beverage, China operations, logistics, support services, and beauty—with more than 40 companies), so your future will be bright (your future will be dark, because after your youth is consumed, you’ll be unable to compete with others when you get older and will have no choice but to sacrifice your life by staying here).

Uni-President Supermarket—the convenience-store chain with the highest density in Taiwan—what exactly is its business secret? (The secret is that it is similar to a scam syndicate and a multilevel-marketing operation, tricking franchisees into coming in to earn franchise fees.)

Want to supervise 7–8 stores?! Want to become an impressive store consultant?! (A salesperson who needs to persuade franchisees to order large quantities of unethical food.)

Join 7-ELEVEN now, and you can become a professional, impressive store business consultant.

Applicants with high stress tolerance, workaholics, and those who want to challenge their limits and oversee an annual turnover of NT$200 million are welcome to join. (The company takes the NT$200 million; you don’t have NT$200 million—you only have unethical food to eat until you get cancer. You deserve a better job and company.)