Workplace reviews and discussion: 舜義國際企業有限公司

1. The boss, who is in his seventies, is very easy to fool. As long as I keep finding new things to stay busy with, even if nothing ultimately comes of them, the boss will never question why someone who has been employed for X years still hasn’t produced the website he wants. This tactic of creating a diversion is recommended to everyone for dealing with a blind boss.

2. Because the boss knows nothing, I don’t need to improve my skills. I can keep using the difficult-to-use website system from more than a decade ago. I don’t have to learn anything, which gives me more time to slack off. What more could I ask for?

3. The happiest part of each workday is the afternoon-tea gossip session, when I can freely gossip and bond with my subordinates. After all, I came to the company to make friends, not to work.

4. Although the boss doesn’t believe the data in Google’s backend, he trusts me a lot. As long as anyone offends me, the boss only has to hear me complain before automatically taking my side. I’m the boss’s favorite lapdog! Those who resent me for being favored can keep at it.

5. I can freely discuss the Bible and raise questions about it, and I don’t think for a moment that believing in a religion while having doubts is stupid. I think the persona of a devout Christian is incredibly cool! I follow everything Jesus teaches and advocate a kind, people-oriented work environment, rejecting rigidly formal business conduct. Anyone who puts on a stern face and insists on treating matters strictly as business is a bad person. I’ll whisper in the boss’s ear and have the bad person driven out of the company. This feeling of being the emperor underground is fantastic—I’m Jesus on earth.

6. Bringing fellow church members and close friends into the company is fine even if they lack work ability. As long as I cultivate my trusted followers, that’s all that matters; when necessary, I can even use them to take the blame for me.

7. Being the emperor underground isn’t just easy and fun at work—I also have female church members as subordinates. To survive, they even act coquettishly toward me. If I simply compliment one on being pretty, she kneels on the chair and wiggles her butt at me, acting cute. So adorable! I’m already in my fifties, and no women outside would pay attention to me. It’s only by holding the power of life and death here that I get perks like these. What more could I ask for?

8. Any newcomer who joins this company will be able to recognize me right away. Remember to curry favor with me, or I’ll tell the boss to get rid of you.

9. It doesn’t matter if you can’t do anything, as long as you know how to play the victim. The boss has a taste for melodrama—he calls it human warmth. The female church member and I are both very good at playing the victim, which is why we’ve managed to stay in this haunted house. Our strictly by-the-book coworker scolded us: “Staying behind doesn’t mean you’ve won.” I think she’s just sour grapes. What do you think?

1. My fellow church member merely made the restroom dirty and messy, yet everyone came to dislike her and even gave her the nickname “Toilet Lid.” What an outrage. Why won’t everyone show me and my fellow church member any friendliness? These non-Christians are simply too unfriendly.

2. Because I’m old and don’t have much ability to learn, all I think about is how to slack off. I actually find this kind of work a little boring, so I have no choice but to keep finding subordinates to chat with to pass the time. I have it so hard.

3. Dealing with by-the-book coworkers is really annoying. So what if they throw out all the evidence that my fellow church member lied and handled things incompetently? If I’m going to pretend to be blind, I’ll stay blind to the end; if I’m going to be biased, I’ll be biased all the way. Isn’t it annoying that they keep insisting on evidence? Fortunately, after I whispered in the boss’s ear a few times, the by-the-book coworker was gone. At last, peace has returned.

4. That obnoxious by-the-book coworker actually managed to complete the project I had never been able to finish. Seeing her is like seeing how I failed, which makes me very depressed and jealous. Fortunately, the boss really does listen to me. Even though she was highly capable at her job, I still managed to get rid of her. Stupid plastic-surgery woman, lol.

5. What does the general manager jumping off a building at the company have to do with me? Why did his wife call the company to scold me? The boss favors me deeply—that’s my ability. Even if someone dies, it can’t change that fact. I’m just the boss’s deeply adored lapdog, so why does everyone have to envy me? Even enough to take their own life out of envy? What did I do wrong??? I’m truly so innocent. I have it so hard! *sob*