Workplace reviews and discussion: 侏羅紀股份有限公司

There are all kinds of stones to look at

Just to give an example 1:

One day, the boss suddenly has a flash of inspiration and wants to do some activity, so he tells the publicity team to immediately make graphics and advertise it—right now, immediately! Because once Big Baby thinks of something and says it out loud, if you don't immediately telepathically figure out what he wants and produce it for him, he'll start bawling.

He'll bawl everywhere, telling everyone how derelict and awful you are.

Huh?

What about the date and location? Transportation or venue reservations? The budget? The main organizer and external point of contact? Partner vendors? Target audience? Pricing strategy? Promotion period and strategy? Supporting hardware and software? Featured products and merchandise? Staff training and setup? Customer-experience design and simulations? Analysis and references for how competitors handle similar events and products?

Sorry, none of that exists. If he can give you the date and location, you should be overjoyed; expecting anything else listed above is overestimating him.

But he wants it, and he wants it now! It’s only two or three weeks away—you damn well better produce it for me!

And he’ll tell department A one thing and department B another. No one can get the complete information, and he won’t appoint anyone to coordinate it. Even if he does appoint someone, don’t worry—he’ll definitely choose the biggest disaster, the most incompetent person who only knows how to flatter the boss and take credit while shifting blame.

So, without knowing what the complete information actually is or who is responsible, you begin your work. You do your utmost to squeeze time out of an already maxed-out workload to plan this thing, asking around everywhere and confirming other incomplete fragments, thinking you might be able to obtain information usable for the work. Most of the time, you discover that the other people or departments have only heard the same thing as you: “It has to be done! On such-and-such date! Right now, immediately!”

Of course, you also ask him for specific instructions. He’ll say, “Didn’t I already tell you? Blah blah blah,” about things he never actually mentioned.

Next, you and your colleagues somehow squeeze yourselves past your limits to fill in that huge~~~~ stretch of blank space in the middle. Then he’ll suddenly jump out, not even look at it, and say, “This won’t do! How can you do it like this? It doesn’t make any sense at all. Didn’t I tell you everything had to be shown to me first?”

Change it!

There are less than two weeks left!

The advertising has already gone out, and under the company’s pressure and nagging, you’ve betrayed your own network to invite people—and actual customers are already asking questions. Yet you still can’t answer customers about a single concrete, finalized detail.

What vehicle are we taking? What food will be served? Where are we meeting? How do people pay and confirm their registration?

Hmm?

Of course, don’t even think about a pre-event briefing, concrete introductions, or beautiful tickets packed with ceremony and style. Even if you think of them, you have no opportunity, time, or budget to create those details. And don’t forget: most of your teammates are newcomers, while the veterans are weirdos, dead weight, or bad people.

Seriously, don’t expect to accomplish anything here that you can put on your résumé as a project or include in a portfolio.

Every day, you’re forced to rush out a pile of things that even you think are low-quality and ineffective, just to deal with the boss’s flights of fancy. Then he says his brand is supposed to be high-end enough to charge Bulgari or Patek Philippe prices.

Using the most absurd, exaggerated, brainless, and utterly communication- and management-free operating model imaginable.

His wife is the same, and so are his senior favorites. They all work this way; their faces are just slightly more palatable than his. They’re equally disastrous.

And this kind of thing happens every day. Every few days, another project gets conjured up this way, and you’re expected to work on it without the slightest idea what’s going on. Right now, immediately!

Resources? None.

Planning? None.

Training? None.

Data? None.

Any information needed for concrete execution? None.

Ask him? Hahahahahaha! Go ahead and ask. Once you do, you’ll know.

Just to give an example 2:

One day, there was a checklist requiring his review and approval, involving four departments, A, B, C, and D. Department D genuinely only handled recording, organizing, and administrative work; it fundamentally did not participate in decision-making.

But he looked at the checklist and got angry—or, more accurately, wanted to put on an angry performance for everyone, thinking this would keep employees on their toes and make them work themselves to the bone. So he called the head of Department D out and began his performance at a volume and in a manner that everyone could hear and see. The D manager’s responsibilities genuinely did not include making any decisions on this checklist, but he wanted to perform in that moment; he wanted to vent; he wanted everyone to see how hard he was working and how pitifully he was being betrayed by negligent employees. So the D manager inexplicably became a prop in his performance, and the next day was publicly announced as having received an administrative disciplinary action.

Oh, right: people who know too many of his dark secrets; people with legal backgrounds; major clients who have him over a barrel; newcomers; and people with extremely impressive academic and professional credentials—he is less likely to do this sort of thing to them.

But if you’ve done excellent work and carried a lot while being dutiful, as long as you don’t have incriminating information about him or control his clients, and you don’t have elite academic or professional credentials or a legal background, and you aren’t a newcomer with a honeymoon period left, he thinks you’re safe to bully. You therefore have a higher chance of becoming a prop in his performance.

In short: he bullies the weak and fears the strong.

Of course, sometimes when his emotions really flare up, it doesn’t matter who you are—he’ll lash out at you anyway, because that’s what he wants!